Author Topic: Comments on "Restless Hearts" (Read 9033 times)

Xenea · « **on:** December 31, 2010, 02:39:00 am »

Creating a place for people to leave comments, thoughts, suggestions.

Xenea · « **Reply #1 on:** December 31, 2010, 02:41:00 am »

OMG! Totally loving it so far:)

Love the way we see it from a couple different vantage points.

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #2 on:** January 22, 2011, 02:36:00 am »

It is defiantly a good read, I love it. I had copied and pasted most of it when reading it on the test site and emailed it to myself on the ship's email. I may be able to visit this site here like the next day or something.

Theodorik · « **Reply #3 on:** January 31, 2011, 09:04:17 pm »

No one likes the story? /pout

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #4 on:** February 03, 2011, 12:53:58 pm »

Now that I can post here from the boat, I can say I do. I like the progress of the storyline alot. Though, just one question but are some of the guys in The0's team in the guild or RL? Such as the guy called Milky?

Theodorik · « **Reply #5 on:** February 03, 2011, 01:23:54 pm »

Quote from: Operative Ghost on February 03, 2011, 12:53:58 pm

Now that I can post here from the boat, I can say I do. I like the progress of the storyline alot. Though, just one question but are some of the guys in The0's team in the guild or RL? Such as the guy called Milky?

When I began the story, I didn't get any feedback from anyone about lending me their character to be in the story. To be honest, its been like novacaine free dentistry getting anyone to use the forums to begin with. Also, it looks like we are having a departure from RP, so I just made up a team.

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #6 on:** February 05, 2011, 11:11:47 am »

Lol, yea I just noticed I was the only one who answered that post back there.
You could have used Ghost in your story, though back then I was not sure if the story was in the past or present.

Quote from: Operative Ghost on December 28, 2010, 11:31:00 pm

Lets see, if you wanted this to be a current operation, you can use Ghost how he is now. He is working undercover as a mute Y8 cargo captain called Nek Petsamet with Geezer as his copilot. Gah, you would have loved to see his cover IG. Basically, I turned him into a long haired ginger with Pappeto's help of HGS makeup.

Though anyways, as it is in the present, you could always have a random run in with Ghost. It could either be a random encounter where you call for a nondescript transport for part of the mission, and Ghost (as Nek) would be there, maybe in the middle of a job where he just played nice and picked you up. As for Pappy... he could have been in another past of the ship during the trip, been wearing a helmet, or had been flying his X-wing and being the Y8's escort (which is usually done sometimes). The funny thing would be you would have never known it to be Ghost and Geezer lol.

It can be one of those few moments, like you randomly bumping into someone in the bar and not knowing who they were... even though they know you very well hahaha.

It's disappointing that we have gone even more quiet on RP. RID is like that as well, so they have taken to making a more smaller group. Maybe we may end up making ours just one squad withing 220. I know our RP rooster is outdated as it still has like the 4-5 squads.

Theodorik · « **Reply #7 on:** February 05, 2011, 03:46:56 pm »

The current CCXX RP timeline has us with 10 squads of 5 plus a command element of 5. I have to update that information, I just haven't figured out where. ICly, we have 55 warm bodies assigned to the 220th Stormtrooper Reconnaissance Platoon (Long Range). Some Operatives are in varying degrees of readiness, or assigned out (on loan) to other units, a practice often seen in real world special forces. For those purposes, I have Ghost listed as "On Assigment" and not attached formally to any squad. My motivation was that I was kind of hoping you come back with a story of what you were doing, sort of running concurrently with Restless

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #8 on:** February 06, 2011, 06:50:27 am »

Quote from: Theodorik on February 05, 2011, 03:46:56 pm

I have Ghost listed as "On Assigment" and not attached formally to any squad. My motivation was that I was kind of hoping you come back with a story of what you were doing, sort of running concurrently with Restless

Ahh, ok. And wow, that's alot of people listed, even though most don't RP :p. From what I have been doing with Ghost was having him as a sleeper agent to slowly infiltrate the spacer community. To slowly form connections with possible rebel cells, pirates and the like. As a sleeper though, he has no connection with 220 so he won't ever be linked with the Empire. So on the 220 side of things, they won't really be getting much actual reports unless he successfully achieves in making a genuine connection.

So far he has been making it look like he is a regular cargo ship captain and waiting for someone to take the hook and try to take advantage of him being on the right side of the law. Maybe try to employ him to smuggle something that would tend to be illegal in the eyes of a Imperial. Maybe move troops (as his ship is large enough) or vehicles and weapons.

Onyxs · « **Reply #9 on:** February 06, 2011, 05:50:16 pm »

Quote from: Operative Ghost on February 06, 2011, 06:50:27 am

So far he has been making it look like he is a regular cargo ship captain and waiting for someone to take the hook and try to take advantage of him being on the right side of the law. Maybe try to employ him to smuggle something that would tend to be illegal in the eyes of a Imperial. Maybe move troops (as his ship is large enough) or vehicles and weapons.

Hmm, that could be kind of interesting. Cabod's leave of absence was somewhat along the same line--and netted him some good contacts in the process

Onyxs · « **Reply #10 on:** February 06, 2011, 10:15:54 pm »

Really loving how this one is unfolding.

There's been some really great characters introduced--I can't wait to see how some of these side-plots end up. The development of the players is happening at a really good pace. You learn just enough at each read that the familiarity builds up. Then, something else happens and you gain another batch of insight into one or more.

Integrating the songs with the chapters is a huge success. It gives each one a theme, and even if the reader isn't familiar with the song, they can still follow what's happening. If you listen to the song, it then just adds that much more.

The glimpses into aspects of military life in the field is a bit eye-opening, at least for me. Things I'd never have thought of happen and I smack my forehead with "Oh, of course that would happen".

The bridges and transitional paragraphs work really well, helping to adjust the pace and focus when needed. I can't even say what my favorite parts are--it varies lol.

Anyway, am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting impatiently for the next installment:)

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #11 on:** February 07, 2011, 10:57:05 am »

Same, I love it. I like how the songs are included as well.

Lol... every time I see Poppy, I have to do a double take to make sure I am not reading Pappy :p

Karana Talynsun · « **Reply #12 on:** February 08, 2011, 12:24:32 pm »

Good stuff! I like to write myself and after reading your stuff, it makes me realize I still have a long way to go in the quality dept. Keep posting!

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #13 on:** February 23, 2011, 12:55:20 pm »

Wow, I love it. It is good to recognize old faces

Onyxs · « **Reply #14 on:** March 22, 2011, 09:10:07 pm »

Oops, I missed one.

Happy Belated Birthday to Theo (the character), as we learned early in the story his birthday was March 17th.

Beyond that, LOVING the latest installments. I think my favorite quote currently is:

"Then a slightly older man, handsome and muscular arrives, calling on her parents, and he looks as nervous as a long tailed jax in a room full of rocking chairs."

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #15 on:** March 23, 2011, 03:42:27 pm »

Yay, Happy belated B-day!

Awesome entries, I am liking them

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #16 on:** April 08, 2011, 12:54:42 pm »

Eagerly awaits the next chapter

Onyxs · « **Reply #17 on:** April 08, 2011, 03:07:15 pm »

Quote from: Operative Ghost on April 08, 2011, 12:54:42 pm

Eagerly awaits the next chapter

Me too!!

Chapter 10 started out so well. I definitely want to see Shellbee kick some more ass.

And all of Chapter 9 was simply incredible. Most of it I could completely see in my mind as I was reading.

Visk Chobrea · « **Reply #18 on:** May 18, 2011, 09:21:04 am »

For some reason I can't open up the Restless Hearts link from work... $:-\$

Onyxs · « **Reply #19 on:** May 18, 2011, 03:05:10 pm »

Quote from: Visk Chobrea on May 18, 2011, 09:21:04 am

For some reason I can't open up the Restless Hearts link from work... $:-\$

that sucks.

Onyxs · « **Reply #20 on:** June 15, 2011, 04:33:27 am »

WOW!

Loving the latest parts. A chapter and a half of suspense and jaw-dropping scenes. Got some great answers to a few of the questions and a batch of new question waiting to be answered.

It's got a fantastic balance between the action/suspense scenes and time to breath in between with insight into some of my favorite characters.

Absolutely cannot wait for the rest of the latest chapter. Sitting on the edge of my seat here!!!!

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #21 on:** June 16, 2011, 11:32:47 pm »

Ack! I fell behind in my reading! O.O

Sorry Ony, I only seemed to have read till the 8th. 3 entries on one day! I got some reading to do!!!

Quote from: Onyxs on June 15, 2011, 04:33:27 am

Sitting on the edge of my seat here!!!!

Is already on the edge of his seat and he still needs to get off this comments thread and read it!...

OK He's reading it!!! :D

Onyxs · « **Reply #22 on:** June 22, 2011, 11:39:58 pm »

!!!!!!!!!!!

That updated scene in the last post of Chapter 13 . . . .

Just OMG, so totally awesome in so many ways--humor, action, suspense. Keep it coming. Fear the wrath of ......

Not going to tell you who/what, you just have to read it.

Operative Ghost · « **Reply #23 on:** June 23, 2011, 10:56:24 pm »

Quote from: Onyxs on June 22, 2011, 11:39:58 pm

Fear the wrath of ......

I probably wouldn't want to fear the wrath of the pilot in my sig during pvp... oh you may be talking of someone differnt :p

Edit: Yay! And lol about women throwing you off your game

Onyxs · « **Reply #24 on:** July 14, 2011, 10:49:26 pm »

OMG.

Going through mega-withdrawl here.

I GOTTA know what happens next!!!!!